So, I've been trying to find the time to really focus on this blog. Then I realized that that is exactly the problem. I can not function or focus on anything with my current level of sleep. This really is the contributing factor to a great deal of my frustration lately....lately being the last seven years. Seriously. Ever since the birth of my beautiful oldest child, and the subsequent births of his two younger brothers, I have not really had a good night's sleep. I am either up with a small child or trying to stay up during that quiet time when the whole house is sleeping and I can get a little bit of my to-do list accomplished. Even though I stay up late to try to get more done, I find myself constantly running against time and life to catch up...on everything!
Not getting enough sleep makes it very hard for me to think clearly, to remain rational in conversations, and to regulate my emotions. Lately, I've found myself in a constant state of "woe is me." In the midst of rehashing every negative thing that has happened or been said to me, or even that I have said or done, I will tell myself to just go to sleep. So, I'm realizing that I am very much aware of what the problem is.
This has got to change. So, I'm thinking I'm going to challenge myself to go to bed by nine o'clock every night for the rest of the month of January. My eight month old still wakes up all hours of the night, hence the really early bedtime. I'm hoping going to bed early will help compensate for the times I have to wake up with him.
Here is what I hope to gain with the early bedtime:
1. Sanity
2. Feeling refreshed when I wake up in the morning.
3. Clarity of mind so that I can handle the constant multi-tasking that occurs when you home school, take care of two little ones under 30 months, help your bi-vocational pastor husband start a church, and just try to find time to call your dear mom at least once a week.
4. More time to actually be constructive and productive and get back to feeling more like myself.
Well, it's late tonight. I will go to bed now and start this thing tomorrow. I'll post soon about my progress.
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